Just a Fly On the Wall

I’ve never really wanted to peer secretly into someone else’s life more so than my own. And certainly, I have never had this desire more than after becoming a wife and a mom. What would I notice about myself if I could somehow step outside of time and watch me? How do I respond to situations, setbacks and victories? What does my face communicate to those around me?

Take today, for instance. I rather enjoy most of the times that I get to take my kids out and run errands (crazy, I know). They can be quite comical and rather cute to watch. They can make up whimsical songs to praise music about passing cars or local wildlife.

On most days, they make me quite proud to be their mom. But today…today was different. Kroger, Home Depot, and–yes–even the library became a battle of wills and a cacophony of noise.

I think if I could have stepped back to watch myself, I may have learned a thing or two about what NOT to do.

Perhaps I would have laughed at the silliness of the whole scene–shopping carts going this way and that, children licking and poking each other to insanity, and a crazed momma trying to get just one simple task completed. Or perhaps I would have knelt in prayer, thinking “this momma could use an extra dose today!”

Either way, I know there are good reasons why our eyes naturally look outward and not the other way around. It’s only too bad that our heads don’t naturally look upward as well. Lord, help me to walk more closely with you and give each day to your control!